Ok! I divorced Narc over 30 years ago and assumed all the credit card debts that had accumulated during the 4 years we were married. Even though he filed for divorce, I finally called his lawyer and paid the lawyer`s bill so that the divorce would be finalized. In my state at the time when the divorce was not final, I always carried car insurance bills for both of us. He had an appalling driving record, so I also bore the financial burden of insurance! Many, many Thrivers in this community managed to achieve this goal and subsequently got the custody and property arrangements they wanted against the narcissists. For inspiration and additional information on how they did it, you can search Google My Name + Thriver Shows and listen to topics related to your situation. How the narcissist uses the legal system to try to wear you down. You`ll basically try one or more of the following: VEXATIOUS (persistent) litigation – and how the system is most often abused by people with narcissistic personality disorder. Phycology calls this phenomenon “quarrelsome” behavior, but in court it is called vexatious litigation. Recent research describes this as paranoia where the individual may repeatedly try to obtain satisfaction through legal and/or legislative measures. I really wanted to do this episode of Thriver TV for you today to help you pay attention to the 6 things narcissists will do so you can be armed to defend yourself against them. It is important to conduct negotiations only between legal staff. We have many mechanisms and expectations to punish people who violate our laws. But when these systems stop working, the shock is persistent and affects you and your life in a very visceral way.
We are built on systems that include ethics and morality, and when these go astray, the balance in our lives also changes. The narcissist will certainly see mediation as a way to get what he wants. You can try to convince the party that lawyers are unnecessary obstacles to the process and believe that it is not necessary for the couple to use lawyers and pay legal fees to divorce. In this case, the narcissist who wants to avoid costs may suggest that the parties might as well do it alone. Unfortunately, this was neither my first nor my last relationship with narcissists. However, it was the only time I had to deal with one in a legal battle, and it was one of the worst moments of my life. After another relationship with another narcissist that was just as emotionally devastating as the relationship above, I had had enough, but I still felt like I was lost in a paper bag and couldn`t find my way. From a legal point of view, this is the case when a legal action is brought solely for the purpose of harassing or subduing the opposing party. It may take the form of a frivolous primary claim or the repetitive, incriminating and unwarranted presentation of unfounded claims in a case that is otherwise a well-founded cause of action.
Narcissistic behavior can be especially difficult in court because many narcissists are accomplished manipulators and few people know exactly how to deal with a narcissist. They often seem calm, gentle, calm and successful. You have decades of experience convincing people that they are right and that you are the crazy one. If they feel their power or control is threatened (such as when you file for divorce), they often proactively recruit friends and family members by their side, leaving you isolated and alone when you need support the most. The legal system is transformed into a tool or weapon with which they can improve their power and control. First, lawyers need to be educated about personality disorders like the NDP and receive advice on how to successfully navigate these cases. The State Bar Association should develop legal training courses dealing with the recognition and treatment of conflicting personalities. The judicial system must also change, starting with the systems of rotation of the judiciary. In some districts, judges leave the family court on a rotating basis every two or three years.
Since cases involving people with NPD typically go beyond this period, they usually need more than one judge to get acquainted with a case with a complicated and labyrinthine history, dragging the litigation even further. Since people with NDP view the courtroom as their stage, these cases can be resolved more easily if judges encourage informal procedures such as chamber conferences and avoid formal hearings. It is a total mistake that narcissists cannot be defeated in court. I promise to heal you with the Prosperous Way, they can and do regularly. The judicial system feeds mainly on two types of behavior, the power-centered and the conscience-centered behavior. I got these concepts from Dr. Karin Huffer. She died a little over a year ago, but she was a very intelligent woman. She got these concepts from social clients. We will therefore refer to these two types of behaviors, a PC 6L5FRF5s and CC as Karen does. (Turning power into control and consciousness into cooperation) FRIVOLOUS LAMENTS – Often the system is an ignorant and involuntary extension of the narcissistic arm that reaches out to do as much damage as possible. This form of abuse is funded in the form of endless legal fees, if the victim can afford it.
Filing frivolous lawsuits that have little value to force the other party to hire a lawyer and incur unnecessary costs. For a narcissist, his gain means that the other person must and must lose. And, of course, it appeases the false self, which once someone stands up to the narcissist or tries to expose him or devalues and throws away the narcissists, believes that this person should be severely punished. The first step is to work hard enough on your inner triggers and trauma so you don`t get catapulted into overwhelming feelings of injustice, terror, and pain. It can be heartbreaking and traumatic to see how someone who supposedly loved you can treat you in court, but that`s exactly what narcissists do. If the narcissist is lying, which they all do, you may well have the exact documentation to prove they are and expose them in court. Most narcissists will not have done their homework properly because of their right and excessive arrogance, they do not expect to have to win to win. TRAPPING – the narcissist will incite his victims and encourage them to act irrationally and then call the police. Currently, in our criminal justice system, no evidence other than their word is required for an arrest warrant to be issued on probation. Evidence is only required if the hearing date is on the other party.
The victim will feel trapped, and this will then be used as a threat in another lawsuit or civil lawsuit. Divorce is not a typical civil dispute and should not be treated as such. Major overhauls could improve the current system, but smaller improvements in the justice system, coupled with formal legal training, are a good way to start dealing with these persistent cases. Does the justice system know how to treat narcissists? Well, if you know narcissists well enough, you`ll understand that they know “how to work in a room,” and that can affect the courtroom as well. They will do their best to look as sacred as possible while trying to make you look like the crazy person. Projection is an important manipulative tool used by narcissists in court. They did this all their relationship with you, why should the courtroom be any different? You rely on how you react emotionally to make you look bad in court. Narcissists love to find loopholes in the legal system and use them in their favor, but know that this is a one-way street and anger will ensure you if you dare to do the same. Which one are you? Another example of a PC would be sociopaths, narcissists, and psychopaths. As a divorce coach specializing in divorce/separation of narcissistic ex-partners (the Nex as I call them), I am often asked how the justice system treats narcissists? Do they realize they exist? Do they offer protection to those who have to defend themselves against them? Of the approximately 10% of family law disputes that go to court, many are separations fuelled by conflict.
While most divorce cases are resolved amicably in less than two years, contentious cases typically last two to five years and can involve dozens of filings, endless delays, tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, and high turnover of lawyers. Even worse, children become collateral damage and often develop various mental health problems. Right now, I`m sitting alone in a coffee shop, taking a break from shopping while my son is with his dad on the weekends. I cry after listening to your video about treating a narcissist and a court. Everything you said hit me at home and suddenly hit me like a wall. I am currently divorcing a narcissist and we and we have not yet been to court. It was brought to my attention by a friend who divorced a narcissist my ex-husband stands on. I had never thought about it before until I started learning more. I was looking for information and support systems and I am very happy to have found your website. Thank you for all your advice and I look forward to learning more as I explore your training and blog.
How would they have approached the courts, how did they approach them when they were attacked and told that their resistance was wrong or illegal? Use it as a guide. Approach the court with pride and confidence about property sharing.